So first off!
Let's pick a winner for the tote bag shall we?!?
So random.org has chosen...
#5
which is...
JEANNETT!
Hey now! I'll shoot you message a Jeannett and snag your addy from you. :)
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So friends...how are you?!?
I'm...fine. I mean, I feel like I should be saying "great" because there really isn't anything that's been happening that would warrant just a plain old "fine".
I think though that this whole move thing has kinda sunk in. Next week we will have been here two months. I would say that the novelty of being in a new place has worn off. There are things that I really like about living here. For example...the space. Our old place in San Francisco was about 500 sq ft. This place...more then double that. We have a nice, good sized backyard, a big garage, and etc. The space is really REALLY great. And I can tell Jack loves it.
Lately though I keep having this thought...what ARE we doing here?!? You see, right after we moved here we actually got an offer from USC...again. Now I don't really think we would necessarily be happier in L.A. I mean, it's more expensive and it's a big city...not really our cup of tea. I know San Francisco is a "big city" but it's definitely different then Los Angeles. Still though I kinda wonder what it would be like to still be in California and not so far from family...and near some people who I actually know! Maybe the fact that we are about to have a baby and I straight up have not a single person who I would call a friend here is just sinking in more and more. It's easy to forget that we uprooted ourselves and moved states when a lot of your routine is the same. Jack still has the same basic routine here...I still have to care for him...I still am doing the same work that I was doing in San Francisco. I think I'm just afraid that I might feel...lonely...once baby #2 comes. I definitely struggled with feelings like that the first month or so of having Jack. I went from being at work, socializing, to being at home...alone. Not a bad thing. And I adjusted for sure...and grew to love being home. But I really hope it doesn't happen again because it will really and truly just be me...with two littles. Nobody stopping by to say hi. I can't call reinforcement if I'm just at the end of my line. I mean, there's Jason but he's at work obviously.
It usually hits me hardest when I'm driving around. Probably because I'm out and about and seeing things that are still not entirely familiar to me. I often ask God...why here?!? Not in a negative way but more...in a curious way. I mean, He must have saw some reason to bring us to Arizona. The fact that I know this to be true...that there IS a reason brings a lot of comfort. I guess it's just being patient and waiting to see how life pans out you know?!?
Anyways, there are some of my thoughts for you.
And I just thought you should know that TWO people today thought that I was due uber soon and when I told them, "Nope, two more months." They both gave me a look of surprise...and sympathy. Ha! Gotta love it. This is what it looks like when a short/petite woman has a baby people! :)
Rangpur Lime Scones
1 week ago
Oh Anna... how I feel you!! I always say it takes about 6 months for me to feel fairly comfortable in a place, and about a year before it feels like HOME. God does work and you eventually become comfortable in a place (I know you already know this... just reiterating)... I hope you find an awesome church home & family soon. I hope you find a friend soon... Those things are so important and help you feel not so alone.
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DeleteannaFebruary 26, 2015 at 12:08 PM
I definitely think of you often Jenny! I always think..."and Jenny has done this SO many times!" Finding a church will help I think. We've been going to one church the whole time we've been here. We are taking a 6 week "intro class" and going to maybe try another church afterwards. I like it ok...I just don't feel...like it's our home. I hate viewing church in such a selfish, self-centered way but yeah...something just isn't quite right about it. Well, actually, their worship is a bit much. It's very "performer centered" and there was a light show and smoke machine and all last time. Yeah. I just don't think I can take it much longer hahaha. Anyways. Yes. Tangent. :)
Stupid USC and their slow offers!!!!!! Boo!!!!!!!!! La is definitely closer to SLO and its awesomeness...and I agree looking for churches is super tough. Maybe one that hosts BSF bible study might be a good fit (not necessarily for Bsf, or mops, but because Grace-like churches tend to host those sort of things) might be a better size/pace for you guys? It took us 6 months to find our church and another 6 to feel included...after attending a hound marrieds class weekly!!!!!
ReplyDeletePs that should say young marrieds but blogger plus ipad aren't friends when it comes to editing.
ReplyDeleteHey AnnaBanana - I know there are things you miss about Cali, but some day there will be things you really really miss about Tempe too. So I don’t think you will be there forever. Decisions are always hard, you can’t go back for a re-do. You’ll never know “what could have been”. As your Mama I am happy to see you where you are. Moms like employers who plan ahead and are reliable. Moms think, “Why does that other school continually have openings at the last minute?” “Why do people keep quitting on short notice?” Memas love to hear that their little guys are clapping when they see their new home. And especially that they have a yard to play in that is safe and secure. You and Jason started this adventure by going to Chile. Maybe God is preparing you for something else. I think maybe God wants you to make some more Spanish speaking friends. You do have family in Arizona (they are bilingual so you can practice your Spanish). An Auntie in Mesa, AZ who is only two years older than you and knows where all the best shopping is in your area(I loved the JC Pennys Outlet). Five cousins (15 to 5 years old) who might love getting to know your little guys and a Grandma - Step-Grandma?(not sure how you are supposed to say it). Who has raised three great kids, baby sat all her grand kids and at least one great grandchild. Also an Uncle (Edgar) and his wife who are great with kids too. I think they go to an Evangelical Church.
ReplyDeleteYou may grieve over the things you loved in your old home for awhile, but you need to reach out and see what God has for you in your new home. It’s not a foreign country, but it is a new adventure!