On Being "Mama" and Last Call!!!

It's the last call to get in on our awesome Christmas ornament trade!!!  You can find the original post HERE!  Just wanted to put that out there.  Those of you who are joining in on the fun you should receive an email requesting your mailing address soon and then another email with your "ornament partner" the first week of December!  :)  I'm super excited.

Well, I just did our little man's 5 month growth post.  5 months.  Still blows my mind.

I thought that this would be a good time to do another "Mama Reflection".  I feel like I am constantly processing this thing called "motherhood".  I don't know why it's taken me so long to realize it but I'm a very reflective...internalizing type of person.  I guess that was why I was a philosophy major in college eh?

So.

Here we are.  5 months...and a bit more...after Jacko's birth.

I didn't expect to have feelings that ran so deep for this kid.  I am not a "wear your heart on your sleeve" type of gal.  I'm not ooey gooey, affectionate but holy cow this kid has me almost undone.  And it's so very good.  I mean, I'm still me.  Slightly sarcastic, joking...you know.  But there is a definite tenderness that I've gained from becoming a mama.  I'm glad.  I was actually a little afraid that I wouldn't be very "maternal".  But it's there.  I'm maternal like no one's biz.  Have no fear.  :)

Being a stay at home mom is pretty darn boring sometimes.  And yet I feel...full.  Like what I'm doing is just right.  How can wiping up drool, soothing and cuddling a fussy baby, and changing diapers over...and over...and OVER feel so gosh darn right?  I don't know.  I mean, don't get me wrong.  There are times when I would like to find a babysitter and run off for a few hours on my own.  There are many times actually haha.  But when it's all said and done I know that I'm where I am supposed to be.  At home.  With our boy.

A fabulously fantastic friend recently posted an instagram post that mentioned all the things she could be doing/needs to get done but that at the moment her baby just needs her to be snuggling him.  That is spot on to how I've been feeling as of late.  The house is a mess, the dishes need to be done...don't even get me started on the state of our bathroom and yet...it's not important.  Right now, I have this tiny little human who needs me.  Who needs my love, my hugs, my attention.  Everything else can wait.  Because he WON'T wait.  He won't wait to grow up, to be independent, to not need me so much.  5 months have passed already.  The next 5 will fly by too.  Pretty soon he will be a toddler running around our house...and he will just keep growing.  And I don't want to look back and think, "Dang, my house was clean even though I had a baby."  I want to look back and know that I hugged, loved, and cherished these sweet baby moments.  Baby moments that are so fleeting and I just don't want to miss them.  :)