Saturday, September 6, 2014

Oh hey there!

Oh man.

I am alive.  Barely.

So much is going on/has happened.
Some good, some down right poopy, some just crazy.

But we are here.

I guess let's start with the poopy.  I didn't talk about the first miscarriage we had because...I didn't want to.  I was a little raw and in shock...and it wasn't something I was willing to share.  I remember thinking that I could not possibly emotionally survive another one.  Then we had Jack and I felt like there was lots of healing and just...I was ok.  God was there through it.  We survived.  Then a couple of weeks ago on my birthday we got what I thought was a perfect birthday present...a positive pregnancy test!  So exciting! 

A week went by though and it became evident that we wouldn't be seeing this little one on this side of heaven.  Deep in my heart I had a "feeling" that something was going to happen.  Even now I sit here and just...don't know what to feel.  I am very sad and yet...a little confused by the fact that it didn't rock me as hard as our first one.  Maybe it's because it was earlier this time, maybe because I had a strange feeling, maybe because it's hard to be sad with a happy crazy baby running around at your feet.  Maybe I just know that God is good.  I mean...really really is good.  I try to keep the perspective that life is full of good and bad...and yet somehow it is possible to receive good and benefit from BOTH good and bad things.  So...I hug my sweet little boy and thank God for him.  Life is so fragile.  Each baby is a miracle.  It's hard to not "go there" and think, sheesh, 2 out of 3...those aren't very good odds.  Was Jack just a one time miracle?  Will we get to have more babies?  I know, I know.  Not rational.  But it's hard to keep your thoughts in check.  Soooo...that's the latest, and not so greatest.  For some reason I felt the need to share this time.  Not exactly sure why but there it is.

Completely different subject.  A couple of weeks ago we got a job offer that we REALLY wanted to take but it literally involved us picking up and moving in less then 2 weeks to Los Angeles.  We were so tempted and just wasn't doable.  We really love the position and apparently there is a chance another position will open in January.  So be praying that this is the case because that would be perfect timing!  :)

Etsy.  This could be a whole blog post on it's own.  I am basically overwhelmed with orders.  Not a bad thing at all.  :)  Just takes some really good time management, some late nights, and a few more Elmo movies then I'm accustomed to showing to Jack (he definitely isn't complaining).  And can I just say...I feel so blessed.  So VERY blessed.  I actually applied to a part time work from home job right before I posted all the felt stuff.  We really needed a little extra income for student loans and etc.  I really thought I was going to get to the job and then...nope.  Jason had been bugging me to try to post my felt stuff for a while.  I was sorta like, "I tired was ok.  Kinda done with it."  After I got the rejection from the job Jason said, "Ok, you can apply to more jobs if you want but you have to promise me you will post your felt stuff.  I have a good feeling about it."  So, I did it.  And it's been two months...and I guess you can say, "the rest is history".  Last month I brought in as much as I would have made at that part time job.  God is SO good.  Will it last?  I don't know.  But I will keep working away and hopefully coming up with new ideas annnnnd...we will see what happens!  :)

Phew.  Well, that was a whole lot packed into one blog post...I will try to not ditch this little space for too long at a time. 
It's a HUGE mushroom!  Jason decided to confess his affection for me on it.  ;)

Thanks for reading friends!  Hope you enjoyed some of our vacation photos!!!


  1. I haven't been on here in a while, it's been a good break, but i'm glad to have opened up my feed to read this post. Praying for healing for you. For clarity in the confusion and for blessings upon blessings to be poured out on you friend.

  2. Aw Anna, I'm sorry :( Praying for you.