I am alive. Barely.
So much is going on/has happened.
Some good, some down right poopy, some just crazy.
But we are here.
A week went by though and it became evident that we wouldn't be seeing this little one on this side of heaven. Deep in my heart I had a "feeling" that something was going to happen. Even now I sit here and just...don't know what to feel. I am very sad and yet...a little confused by the fact that it didn't rock me as hard as our first one. Maybe it's because it was earlier this time, maybe because I had a strange feeling, maybe because it's hard to be sad with a happy crazy baby running around at your feet. Maybe I just know that God is good. I mean...really really is good. I try to keep the perspective that life is full of good and bad...and yet somehow it is possible to receive good and benefit from BOTH good and bad things. So...I hug my sweet little boy and thank God for him. Life is so fragile. Each baby is a miracle. It's hard to not "go there" and think, sheesh, 2 out of 3...those aren't very good odds. Was Jack just a one time miracle? Will we get to have more babies? I know, I know. Not rational. But it's hard to keep your thoughts in check. Soooo...that's the latest, and not so greatest. For some reason I felt the need to share this time. Not exactly sure why but there it is.
Phew. Well, that was a whole lot packed into one blog post...I will try to not ditch this little space for too long at a time.
|It's a HUGE mushroom! Jason decided to confess his affection for me on it. ;)|
Thanks for reading friends! Hope you enjoyed some of our vacation photos!!!