This Weekend...

This weekend...

• was beautiful.  San Francisco falls are glorious.
• we saved all of our pictures from our computer because this 7 year old laptop is on the verge of dying.  It's soooooo slow, makes a horrible noise when you turn it on, and spontaneously turns off on it's own.  All signs of an impending computer death.  Boo.
• I went on a walk where my baby scuh-reamed bloody murder the whole way back.  I stopped and nursed him.  As soon as I set him down though...holy cow.  We were too far and it's not safe for me to hold him with one hand and push the stroller.  So, it was a slow walk where I walked until he was at a point where I thought he needed comforting and then I put him back in, he cried, and on and on.  BTW, he went to bed at 6:30 tonight.  I think he's a bit pooped from all that.  
• I laughed at Jason when he said, "I think that beer had a higher level of alho-co-hol."  bahaha.  Couldn't even say the word right.  No more beer for you Jason!  :)
• I deveined (sp?) raw shrimp for the first time and pretty much gagged the whole time.  I have no issues with raw meat but raw seafood really grosses me out.  It was yummy though.  
• a man came home after an afternoon of lesson planning at school with a bouquet of red roses for me (that man was Jason FYI) 

And that was MY weekend.  How was yours?!?  <3

Sleep?!?

Sleep.

Remember that 3 month post where I was all, "Jack sleeps through the night."

Yeah.

I take it back.

Literally, that night Jack decided that it was useful to add the 3 am feeding back in.
Then the 3 am moved to 2 am
Then 1 am...and again at 4am.
Last night it was 12:30am, 3:00am, 5:00am.  I went to bed at 11pm.  Shoot me.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY CHILD?!?!

I acknowledge that if you read about his age, 2-3 nightly feedings is supposedly normal.  I also acknowledge that a lady at my Mom's Group has a 6 month old and she's still having the same problem.  I am not alone.

The problem is that I have tasted the whole "sleep through the night" thing and boy is it sweet.  To go back to what feels like newborn sleep habits...makes me a little cuh-razy.

I feel delirious and slightly insane when he wakes me up at these crazy hours of the night.  I keep lying there in hopes that Jason magically grows boobs...hasn't happened yet.  I've contemplated slipping crushed estrogen pills into his dinner.  What's held me back is the fear of being caught...that and I don't know where to get them.

See!?!
Crazy.  Sleep deprivation makes me nuts.

In all seriousness though...I feel myself getting really frustrated when I go in more then once per night.  I can do one time...like a 3 am feeding.  Other then that though I kinda get P.O'ed.  I am not that mother who jumps at every moment to drink in my baby...even if it's when I should be sleeping.  No sir.  I need my sleep.

Soooooooo.  If you think of me...can you pray?  For sleep.  And even more so for patience.  I think sleep is a HUGE love of mine.  Probably unrealistically so being that I am a mom now.  The kid is genuinely eating each time he wakes up.  I'm not yet willing to deprive him/make him cry it out so in reality I can't hold it against him.  He hasn't been taught to do otherwise.  He just kinda DID the whole sleep thing on his own though...and it was so nice.  And now, well, now...yeah.  Maybe this is a growth spurt?  Please let this just be a growth spurt?!?...

Ok, enough griping about lack of sleep.
"Buck up Anna.  You're a mom.  What did you expect?  To get a full 8 hours each night?!?  HA!  Foolish girl.  Go cry to someone who cares."

Thanks guys.
That's just what I needed to hear.  :)

I'm off to go to bed a bit earlier tonight. 
Night night ya'll.  

One of those Days

Saturday.  Ah yes, Saturday.

I haven't had "one of those days" in a very long time.  Things have been rollin' pretty smoothly around these parts.  That and it takes a bit to rile me up...so yeah.  Saturday was luh-vuh-ley.  Not.

So, I'm cruising to work (I work Fridays and Saturdays).  It's looking to be a rainy day in the making.  I'm about 3/4 of the way to work (I commute about 20 miles south of San Francisco...aka at least a 45 min drive because of Bay Area traffic) and I start thinking about how lame it would be if I forgot a piece of my breast pump.  I'm thinking about what a disaster that would be when all of a sudden I stop and think to myself...wait...did I even grab my pump at all?  I slowly look over to the passenger seat of my truck and what do you know...no freaking pump.  Yeah, let's worry about missing parts of the pump when you FORGOT THE WHOLE DARN THING.  I had to open the office so I kept driving, opened everything up, explained to my doctor that I have no brain and there is no way I can go 7 hours without pumping (she has 2 kids and she breast fed so she was completely compassionate).  After everything is settled and dandy in the office I proceed to drive aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall  the way back to San Francisco.  And it DUMPS.  I mean dumps rain to the point that I can't see worth beans.  I'm trying my hardest to get there and back as fast as possible but it ain't happening.  I hydroplaned about 5 times...literally.  And at one point I had to slam on my brakes in what turned out to be a literal LAKE on the freeway.  A wave...seriously, a wave went over my windshield and I could not see a thing as I hydroplaned and tried to stop.  I didn't crash into the cars ahead of me...some how.  I finally make it home, get the pump, see Jason who knows not to mention anything in regard to why I could forget such an important item.  He just said, "Don't cry, you're okay."  I drove back to work.  Things were fine.  That was the worst/most stressful drive I've ever done and honestly I kinda get a rush from sketchy driving usually (I know...so bad).

Then I spilled my lunch all over my lap.  Yeah, seriously?

Then a patient ripped into me on the phone telling me that I'm rude and that he is sick of dealing with me (I just called him to remind him of his appointment but apparently he's been dealing with someone else in the office regarding his insurance who hasn't been all that patient with him).  And that was it.

I cried like a big fat baby in the bathroom...and then to the doctor.

And then at the end of the day I came home and I saw my lovely little fam bam and when it was all said and done...everything was a-ok.

 Nothing like a good ole' "lame day" to make you appreciate all those good days. 
And that was my Saturday.
I'm guessing yours was a wee bit better.  At least I'm hoping it was.  :)

This & That, Here & There

A bullet post is sounding a bit good to me.  Here we go...

• So, it's been really interesting becoming a (mostly) stay at home mom.  First off, I was totally under the impression that I would have more free time then I do.  I really thought that babies were better at entertaining themselves.  HA!  I like a clean house...as most people do.  The thing that I've had to let go of though is how I like my WHOLE house to be spotlessly clean...at the same time.  Yeah.  Not happening.  I can not clean our whole house in the time that Jack takes a nap...nor do I WANT to...since this is "Anna time".  :)  Solution!?!  We have a calendar on our refrigerator and there is now one major chore to be done each day.  Monday=bathroom. Tuesday=our room, and etc.  Every day I try to do the dishes and tidy the living room.  I've been doing it for the last few weeks and it's been working swimmingly.

• Random product that I totally love.  Aden + Anais bibs!  Yes.  Awesome.  So soft, so cute.  Adorable.  Jack is a puker and quickly becoming a drooler.  These bibs are awesome.  My favorite part is that they are adjustable SNAP bibs.  I've decided that velcro is lamey-lame.  It always wears out and is no longer usable.
•  Another adorable product that Jack possesses.  These little mocs!  Ack.  Shoot me they are so cute.  So, I'm not really a baby shoe person but San Francisco is not the warmest place on earth.  I've found that when he in the ergo his little feet that hang out get cold even with socks.  These little moxy-moccasins are just the ticket.
•  We attend a really great church in San Francisco.  We've had some trouble getting connected though because we are/were both quite busy with our jobs.  We've done a community group and church on Sundays...but that's about it.  Even the community group has fallen by the wayside since getting pregnant and having Jack.  Tomorrow I'm going to try out a Mom's Group.  A).  I can't believe I possess the item needed to join a Mom's Group...a child.  B) I'm kinda nervous because I don't know anyone there at all.  Like no one.  I'm not really shy but I hate going to a place where you are probably the only new person.  Anyways, I would love to meet a couple of mom friends so...if you think of me, give me a little shout out to the big Father of all things eh?
• I started work last week.  If you don't know, I'm working Friday and Saturdays.  These are the days that Jason doesn't teach.  Last week was surprisingly hard for me to leave Jack.  Especially Saturday.  I felt like I hardly saw him on Friday.  I WILL say that the ability to socialize, drink a FULL cup of coffee (while still hot), and go to the bathroom was rather nice.  Pumping every 3 hours...not so great.  Hopefully it works out in the end.  We are worried about Jason's ability to plan for his classes.  Jack takes a lot of time and Friday and Saturday are key planning days.  Who knows.  Basically I'm going to work to pay for our almost $1000 health insurance premium we pay each month (ouch).  Apparently on October 1st you can sign up to have the gov't help pay for your premiums.  We'll see what that does...?
• Well, that's it.  Time to go clean the bathroom...cause I didn't do it yesterday.  :)

Here for a Bit Longer

I'm not a city girl.

If I could live anywhere it would be on a forested hunk of land about 10 miles from town with a few animals...one of my dreams is to make my own artisan cheese.  Yeah. :)

And yet...
We live in a city with almost 1,000,000 people...not including the hordes of tourists.
Good ole San Francisco.

Credit

A week ago Jason and I talked about our "5 year plan" and it seems to involve more of this crazy city.  When we first moved here for Jason's grad school I envisioned us peacing out right after he was done.  He has a job though through his university and he's gaining what every potential employer wants...experience.  There are opportunities here for him...and I, that we feel would be foolish to leave behind. So we are staying longer...unless the Lord intervenes.  :)

I am oddly okay with this.  There are days when I want to get out of here, don't get me wrong. 

And then there are days like yesterday.  It was a beautiful, sunny day so I took Jack on a walk.  I made it a couple of blocks and ran into two elderly ladies.  One very Russian lady and one very Chinese lady...with their adorable accents and all.  Of course they wanted to see Jack.  I was just struck with how unique that situation was.  There are some definite issues and prejudices with having so many cultures in one place but these two neighbors overcame that nonsense.  You could tell they were friends.  We talked about Jack and how much we like our neighborhood...and a few other things, and then I said farewell.  In moments like that I think, "Gosh, I love this crazy city."

I'm glad that sometimes I'm uncomfortable.  That there are homeless people, broken and hurting people, different cultures that remind you that there's more to this world then the life YOU live.

Don't get me wrong...I still crave that hunk of land...often.  And yet I feel like this is where the Lord has us for now.  And I'm okay with it. :)

Jack: 3 Months

The white board is ghetto...sorry.  :)

Our little stinker is 3 MONTHS OLD!?!?!  How is that even possible?
Time is flying people.

Anyways, so let's talk about little Jack, Jackie boy, Jack-O, Jackimo.

At 3 months he:
-last time we checked he was creeping up to 13 lbs.  Not sure what he is now.  He's in the 50th percentile across the board though...height, weight, and head size.  Every time someone comments on how big he is I want to say, "Actually he's rather average."  :)  But I don't.  
-is incredibly close to rolling over...from back to tummy.
-smiles all the time.
-laughs out loud
-sucks on his fist...and pretty much tries to shove the whole thing in his mouth
-loves to be held and cuddled.
-is sleeping through the night...BOO-YAH.
-still nurses during the day every 2-3 hours (whatever, I'll feed him every hour if it means he'll do his 10 hour stretches at night)
-loves his baths.  Especially in the big bathtub where he practices "swimming".  haha
-playing with his burp cloths.  Figures.  THAT'S what he likes to play with. :)
-holds his weight on his legs completely for long periods of time...and honestly does not like to be held lying down at all

Things that he's not so keen on:
-being left alone to entertain himself (though he's getting better)
-having his face wiped.  My word you'd think I was killing him.
-his playmat.  Really?  Our pediatrician said to get one and he is NOT interested...but put him on his changing table and he goes nuts kicking and smiling.  Oh well.  :)

Welp, here are some photos of our little guy from this last month.

Bath time in the big bath.  :)

He loved floating. :)

He bucked and kicked and squirmed until he got out.  haha

He loves to play with his prefold diapers.  Instead of walking around with a poop stained diaper I made him a mini quilt.  He loves it.  :)

A nap in our bed assures a long nap. :)

That FACE!  Ugh.  My favorite expression ever.

It turns out these monthly photos are hard to do haha.  I was TRYING to get him to smile.  The first one was as good as it gets...as you can see.  I love the progression to full melt down.  :)

Mama FAIL

Here is my "Mama Fail" story:

Jack and I were having a lovely day.  He was in a particularly good mood.  A smiley, giggley little guy.  His all time favorite spot to be is on his changing table.  I have no idea why.  Maybe because it usually means he gets to ditch the diaper for a few minutes.  Maybe because it brings him closer to us and he can see our face while lying flat.  I have no idea.  He loves the changing table though.

He also loves his binky.  Because he likes to spit it out and I'm completely tired of picking the dang thing up and washing it (shhh...sometimes I just brush it off...only at home though of course) I have it on a leash.  It connects to his shirt with a suspender clip.  I made it.  It's cute.  Just sayin'.  Here is said suspender clip...------------>

So, his diaper is changed and we're ready to go back into the living room.  He's smiling and laughing at me and I clip the binky to his short sleeve shirt.  Then his expression changes.  There was a pause.  Then a blood curdling scream.  I stare at him and think, "Good grief, moody much?"  Then I realize...hmmm.  I think that's his, "Ouch Scream" (yeah, I'm starting to figure out what these different cries mean...yeah me.)  I stare at him a second more and realize, "Oh crap!  That scream started right after I clipped the binky on...oh no I didn't...oh yes I did!!!"  Yep.  Sure enough.  The kids little arm fat got clamped down into it.  Broke.my.heart.  So sad. 

The worst part of it is I tried to do it to myself to see what it felt like and I couldn't clamp it all the way down because it hurt too much.  Yeah.  I'm a stellar mother.  Good thing they don't remember these things.  :)  Yikes.  His little war wound actually doesn't look as bad as I thought it would.  Oh yay.

Anyways, there's my awesome Mama Fail story.  Lesson learned...look out for rogue fat rolls on baby.

Getting to Know Jack

Well, we are coming up on almost 12 weeks of life with Jack (on the outside of the womb).  :)  Crazy how time flies.  I think everyone has said it but in some ways time has flown by and in other ways it feels like the kid has always been around.  Like it's hard to imagine that there was a time that it was just "Jason and I".  Weird because it was just Jason and I for over 4 years of our married life.

Anyways, I feel like it's been such an adventure getting to know this little man.  You are given this little baby and really he's a complete stranger.  You have to learn how he ticks, his disposition, his personality.  We are learning that.  Sometimes we're a little slow (poor guy) but we're figuring you out kid.  :)

Jack in his puke.  Lovely eh?  :)

First of all, he loves his food.  I mean LOVES his food.  Don't all babies?  Something that I'm figuring out though is that just because the books say he'll do something or my friend's babies who are similar ages are doing something doesn't mean that Jack will do it.  He nurses often.  He pretty much nurses every 2 hours during the day.  In the evening...every hour.  If we are out and about and he's in the ergo he can go a little longer.  There was a time where he would be crying his brains out and Jason would say, "Is he hungry?"  I'd reply with a "No!  He can't be...he ate 2 hours ago...he still has an hour left."  Yeah, babies don't work that way.  Just because the books and docs say that they should eat every 3 hours at this age doesn't mean that HE will.  Anyways, when I started feeding him more often he was a LOT happier.  Poor baby.

Ah!  He's grown so much already.  He's so tiny!  :)

I'm not really sure what "type" of baby Jack is.  He's my first baby and the only other baby that I've spent a considerable amount of time with is my 2nd to youngest brother and I remember him SCREAMING a lot.  So in comparison Jack seemed not so bad.  He does get worked up occasionally but that can always be cured by nursing...ALWAYS.  I'm realizing though that Jack is probably a more high maintenance baby.  He's sorta on this every other day cycle.  One day he's pretty good, next day fussy, next day good, next day fussy.  He also does NOT like to be put down.  Especially on the fussy days.  Not only does he not like to be put down...he doesn't like you to sit.  He wants you up and moving.  So, rather then kill my back he ends up doing a lot of nursing.  In the end it's the most soothing thing for both of us.  It makes it a little bit difficult for Jason though...obviously.  :)  I will say that he's getting much better at entertaining himself.  As long as he's in a good mood he'll play on his play mat a bit or go in his swing.

Sleep.  Oh sleep.  I'm sorta on the wall about what I think in general about babies and sleep.  Other then I think that they should do far FAR more of it.  :)  Jack is a decent sleeper.  He slept in a co-sleeper in our bed for the first 9 weeks or so.  It was very easy to put him immediately back to sleep and so he ended up practically sleeping through the night at 7 weeks.  Once we transitioned to his own room though he began waking up more.  Hard on us all.  We've gone back and forth...move him back into our room...keep him in his.  We aren't "cry it out" type of people.  So, I get up and honestly he's genuinely hungry.  He chugs his milk like there is no tomorrow and always goes right back to sleep.  I can't complain much because he knows night time as sleep time...he just likes to wake up twice or so for some food.  The thing that I've found the most shocking about the whole sleep thing is our openness to co-sleeping now.  We don't technically co-sleep.  Jack wakes up at 6 am to eat and he sleeps in our bed until about 9 am.  I understand it a bit more though.  I've read some very interesting, convincing studies on co-sleeping.  Jack sleeps SO well when sleeping with me too that it makes me wonder.  Why does he sleep so well?  Is there some sort of "design" behind it?  Who knows.  But we don't co-sleep because I don't sleep as well with him in bed.  Anyways, just some thoughts I guess.  :)

So, that's our Jack for you.  Loves to eat, loves to be held, loves to sleep...as long as he can wake up and eat a couple of times. :)