My Boy Jack

I adore my boy.

I mean, don't we all adore our children?!?  I truly delight in my little guy though.  Mothering is so fun, and such an adventure.  Full of spontaneous laughter...and tears.  Ha!  We just got over another one of those 3-4 day "crabby, whiney, developmental blurps".  That's what I call them anyways.  ;)  Basically he isn't himself for a few days and is super clingy, angry, cranky, and whiney.  And then one morning he wakes up and he's back.  His normal easy, happy go lucky self is back and there is usually some new development that's taken place.  In this case he's adding REAL words at a record pace.  He's starting to mimic things that we say.  He's always "talked" a lot...we just never knew what he was saying.  Well, I did usually but nobody else. 

I'm sure that once baby girl comes Jack won't be receiving quite the same amount of face time on this blog.  Although this age.  Seriously?!?  I adore it.  I mean I loved him little but I think I appreciate the interaction and the laughs that he gives me so much.  I also think though that I will appreciate the "itty bitty stage" of baby girl more then I did with Jack.  I was sad to see him get older and yet...staying home with a tiny baby who literally wanted to be held every moment of the day was fatiguing and well...a little boring at times.  I remember always telling myself to "take it all in" and to adore the quiet moments where you just sit and breathe in your little sleeping baby.  So I remember being conscious about the fact that newborns are beautiful miracles that only stay so tiny for a few short months...but I also loved watching him grow.  And it's still the case.  That being said, I will have the comparison of a newborn and toddler...and knowing how fast these almost two years have gone by with Jack...and that it will probably go by FASTER with Baby Girl now...I think I will relish and adore her tininess all the more.  Does that make sense?!?

It's really weird to think that I literally have probably 4 short weeks left with just Jack as my little side kick.  I'm excited to add a little one to our clan.  Very excited.  A little nervous but yes...we're ready.  Jason is VERY ready.  I was having some contractions yesterday (nothing bad but a little outchie) and he kept telling Jack, "Mama is going to have our baby."  He was kidding of course but yeah...Daddy wants to hold his little girl, and so do I.  While I was okay with Jack coming early...if he was ready I think I almost need these last few weeks.  Not that I'm going to really get my head around this concept of adding a new baby...but just to...cherish and enjoy these days where I can really focus and give my time to this crazy little boy.  I truly think he will benefit, dare I say...needs a a sibling.  He will learn things from interactions with his sister that I could never teach him but I also see how unique this time is.  Never again will Jack have the same situation...him, mama, and daddy.  And never again...or not for a while at least ha!...will it be quite this easy.  :)

So we are doing our best to enjoy these last few days as a family of 3.  Part of me feels like a month is a long time but then I think about how quickly these last two months have gone by and I know that 4 or so weeks will happen in a blink of an eye.  I feel truly blessed to be a mom...even of just one if that were God's will.  God has blessed me richly.  We aren't rich, we don't own really nice things (by western standards at least), I don't have the perfect trendy wardrobe, or own a home.  But we are rich.  Rich in love.  For each other.  And even more, in God's love. 

So we are welcoming this new little one with open arms, and taking in these days with just Jack.  I am truly trying to see each day as a blessing.  Sometimes a hard blessing...but one none the less.

Side note: And if you are experiencing cold weather right now...I apologize.  I know that summer is supposedly brutal in Arizona but I've heard it said by people here that you get 3 months of hell but 9 months of heaven...and I'm sorta believing that.  The weather is amazing so far.  I must say though that it's starting to warm up.  We have had 90+ degree weather the last week and can I just say...I hear everyone's AC going and we wimpy, baby California people are holding out!  Bam!  Still haven't used the AC.  That's right?!?  Who's tough?  ;)  Even the husband who likes the weather to be 76 degrees is toughing it out.

8+ months

It feels weird to say that I'm over 8 months pregnant because hello...we say pregnancy is 9 months long so I should be popping this baby out any day now right?!?  Wrong.  Pregnancy is actually more like 10 months long though you don't even KNOW that you are pregnant usually the 1st 4 weeks soooo....I guess it feels more like 9.  Ok, so it feels like 26 months can I get an amen?

So let's do a little pregger update shall we?!?

• I am 34 weeks.
• I have gained 30 lbs.  I gained 28 lbs with Jack...total.  Yup.  That's not happening this time around ahem.
• Overall I feel pretty good.  I've had "mostly" non painful contractions on and off for the last week or two.  Every once in a while I get something that feels pretty sharp and ouchie.  This is all new for me.  I didn't get a single Braxton Hicks or anything the whole time I was pregnant with Jack.  When my water started leaking with Jack the doctor asked me if I felt I could go into labor on my own and I looked at her and said, "Not a chance."  Hence the induction.  :)
• My appetite has basically taken a dive.  I am rarely hungry anymore and usually have decent nausea come 4pm.  Not much space up in this abdomen of mine for things like food.
• I have a few regular stores I go to and the people there are starting to remember me as the big whale...ahem, pregnant lady.  They keep commenting, "You're STILL pregnant?!?"  Guys!  I have like a good 5 weeks left.  This baby is not going any where soon.
• Speaking of the baby leaving my body.  So.  With Jack I could care less how he left my body.  Vaginal, C Section, whatever.  I just wanted him to be safe and whatever mode that ended up being was fine for me.  I also had never HAD a baby before so I was just plain open to whatever.  While I was aware of the fact that one could tear I didn't reeeeeally know to the degree that could happen, nor the recovery time.  Completely naïve to that.  So now we have baby #2.  Guys.  I seriously don't know what to do.  At. all.  I'm honestly okay with tearing again.  Even to the degree that I did with him but the doctors don't think I can handle a tear in the same place again...without serious consequences.  There is talk that if it DOES happen then I may have incontinence issues.  You know, that's every mother's dream to have to worry about her kid's diaper changes AND her own.  Also reconstructive surgery might have to happen.  They mentioned that they think these issues are a genetic thing.  The same reason some women don't get stretch marks or have no issues with their bladder.  Genetics.  Yeah, turns out last week I found out my aunt had major surgery after her second baby.  Completely ruined her and she had to have pelvic reconstruction...and in the end a hysterectomy  And my Nana, her mom...had trouble too.  So I'm typing all this out and I'm sure you're like UM...HELLO DUMMY get a C-section!!!!  But there is this huge part of me that is like...I don't want one.  I want them to flop baby girl on me like they did with Jack.  I don't want to stay in the hospital 5 days, be apart from Jack, and heal from a C-section.  And what if she IS smaller?!?  I feel pretty confident that I could get a smaller baby out with not too much trouble.  Gah.  But if something happened and there was permanent damage then I would be sooo mad at myself.  A C-section is just what it is.  A C-section...and then it's done.  I don't know.  We've thought about doing a size ultrasound at the end and depending on what they say deciding based on that info.  I guess there is a 1 lb "give or take" on those things so if she's measuring at 6 or 7 lbs according to it then go for the vaginal but if she's measuring 8+ then go for the C-section.  Who knows.  See.  This is my dilemma.  Help me decide.  Kidding.  ;)  Phew.  Ok, enough on THAT subject.
• It's kinda weird/nice having had a baby and basically having everything that we need for baby girl.  All the things that I would like are basically extra things that would be "nice".  There was a consignment store that I liked in San Francisco that was great for things like wraps, toys, and etc.  It was just so-so for clothes.  Their clothes were like $6-$7 and they looked quite used.  I can get clothes for that price on clearance at Old Navy, Gap, and Target for brand new.  There is a consignment store here though that is awesome for clothes.  I basically got everything baby girl could need for the first 3 months or so for super cheap...like $1-$2 a piece.  And it's all totally brand new looking and adorable.  Score I tell ya!  :)
• I should buy stock in heartburn products because I'm pretty sure I will be keeping their business afloat single handedly this pregnancy.  I have had heartburn so bad that at points I thought I was going to throw-up.  Lovely.  Everything gives me heartburn...everything.  Even OATMEAL gives me heartburn.  I mean, come on! 
• Overall I just feel...excited...and a little nervous to be bringing home a second baby.  I mean, my little buddy has been my side kick for almost 2 years and now there will be three of us.  I just kinda feel a little sad to think that this time we have will be...different looking.  There will definitely be more love in the home adding another little one and I'm not sad but I can get a little nostalgic thinking about change I guess.  This is probably pretty normal.  I'm actually not that nervous for Jack.  I think he will probably adjust pretty well.  I hope I'm right!  :)  ha!  I'm also still a little weirded out that we're having a GIRL!  Like I still don't totally believe it.  I don't have a sister...and most of my cousins are boys.  There are just a lot of boys in my family and so...a girl!  Crazy for sure.
• And if anyone is looking for a super comfy pair of maternity shorts seriously THESE THINGS are amazing.  I wear them almost every day.  The panel is super stretchy and soft and not tight feeling at all.  The best purchase this pregnant woman has made this pregnancy...actually the ONLY piece of maternity clothing I've purchased this pregnancy, ha!  :)

Phew.  I guess that's it.  I have a picture buuuut...I'm too lazy to find my camera and upload it.  So...I'll add it tomorrow maybe.  ;)

Friday Updates

It's Friday.
And what. a. week.
Seriously.

Let us do a little recap shall we?!?

• So I got my first stomach flu...in 11 years!  Ha!  I actually can remember the last time that I got a stomach bug.  By God's grace I didn't get the throw-up version of it, but the ahem, "other version".  While it was awful...I've heard that it's pretty awful to be massively pregnant and heaving your guts out.  I also didn't have too many other symptoms so I was at least half way functioning...allowing me to take care of a certain little toddler who.......
• then exactly 48 hours later came down with a much worse version.  The full monty...and a fever to boot.  Poor kid.  Between me and Jack being sick I basically have slept very little in 4 days buuut...what can you do.  Sleep deprivation is nothing new with little ones eh?  We are all on the mend now and slowly trying to regain our appetite.  I'm thinking I won't be hitting that 2 lb mark of weight gain at this two week baby appt.  ;)
• Crocs.  Ok.  So these things aren't exactly the most adorable shoes...on adults.  But on little kids.  Totally cute.  I have no idea why I didn't buy a pair a long time ago.  Oh wait, because they are like $25 for a pair of plastic shoes!?!  Anyways, Jack is growing out of a lot of his shoes.  And apparently I'm all stocked up on shoes that are too big for him (ie sandals and tennis shoes).  I finally broke down and bought him a pair and they are pretty amazing.  He likes to go in the backyard and run through our wet grass...and "water" the plants with his watering can...which involves more water on his shoes and the ground then it does water getting into the actual pots.  The crocs are rubber so they get wet and then boom...they're dry.  Apparently they are comfy too because he refuses to wear anything that isn't...that's for sure.  Also I would have bought the cheapo version of them but apparently they NEVER have his size sooooo...it's name brand for us this time.  ;)
• We just got Wifi.  I know.  We are pretty much perpetually stuck in 1991 when it comes to technology.  Funny stuff.  All we need is a coffee pot...and maybe a TV and we might actually resemble the average family who resides in at least the early 2000's.  ha!
• I feel like I've been a bit quiet on social media lately.  Too busy with flus and just...pre-occupied.  We have family staying at our house currently.  My cousin (who is 20) was just diagnosed with a very rare, scary liver cancer yesterday.  They live in New Mexico.  He went in because of pain last week to his local ER and discovered the mass, and that it had metastasized.  They came here last weekend for the Mayo Clinic in Phoenix.  They have been going through tests and biopsies and got the official word yesterday.  Apparently God had us move here just in time so that they had a place to stay for free while they figure out their next course of action.  I have been hit with so many questions this week regarding faith and suffering...both from myself and my aunt.  And you know...I just. don't. know.  I don't know.  I don't know why God makes people suffer...or heaven forbid...takes a child.  The only answer I have is that SOME how it is for His good.  Some how.  Even though I want to yell, and kick, and scream out "Why are you being so selfish God?!?" deep in my heart there has to be a reason why...outside of the sheer fact that science says eventually we will die and that's that.  We have to have faith in a God who allows such a thing because otherwise...it's truly hopeless.  You read all the books on suffering and the problem of evil and pain and when you are outside of it...it sorta makes sense.  And then you are thrown into the frontlines and all that logic and head knowledge goes out the window and your heart's pain takes over and you're left stripped down, sick to your stomach, and full of questions.  So please pray.  Pray for my cousin.  He's young and probably totally freaked.  Pray for my aunt who is a vulnerable, scared mother who loves her son so deeply.  Pray for Jason and I to be a support to them.  Pray for the meeting they have today with the surgeons that they will in fact attempt to do surgery.  If they say they can't/won't do it then that's basically the end...because chemo doesn't work on this type of cancer.  God DOES move and do miracles.  I believe it. 

Sorry to leave it on a downer.  I hope that everyone has an awesome weekend...and hug those babies of yours.  Even if they're 20+.  ;)

Sedona Camping Trip

Oh hey there!
It's been a little while since I've ventured over to this space.  Been busy working, child rearing, growing a baby, and things of that nature.  Jason also had a one week "spring break" of sorts and so we decided to utilize it as a "last hoorah" before baby girl comes.  We went camping outside of Sedona and it was basically great.

We haven't been camping/backpacking since before I was pregnant with Jack.  We had every intention of going camping during his first year buuuut...he didn't start sleeping through the night until a year old and we didn't think it would be courteous to bring a baby camping who likes to wake up through out the night and cry.  Heh.  Honestly we haven't been camping...at a real campsite in quite a few years.  We've done a fair amount of backpacking and my how that is different.  The close proximity of bathrooms, trash cans, and water that you didn't have to purify yourself was mighty nice.  Especially being um, you know, 8 months pregnant.  Ha!

And Jack.  Oh my golly that kid had so. much. fun.  Seeing him camp was pretty much my favorite part of the trip.  He was sooo happy...and he's basically always a happy little guy.  He also slept great.  Honestly, it was just what the doctor ordered.  While Jason has enjoyed his new job it has been a LOT of work.  I think we just needed some time to check out and be together.

Oh, and the scenery of the place wasn't too bad either....

So most of these big red mountains are taken around Sedona the city.  It's really quite unique and beautiful.  We went on a hike where there were networks of mountain bike trails ranging from easy to difficult.  Jason was freaking out.  He wanted to ride so bad.  Instead he was stuck with a toddler and a pregnant woman.  Ha!  I don't think he minded it too much though.  ;)

Please note the little red butt on Jack.  The sand was super fine and soft and that was the first thing he did...plopped down on his bum and started digging his fingers through the dirt.  :)

You can't see all of Jack's face but my how I love this picture of my two favorite guys. 

Jacko was getting pooped by the end and so out came the binkie...and of course we carried him all the way back.  Kinda wish I could have traded places with him.  Honestly though I felt really great with hiking.  How I'm not sure.  Sleeping on that hard backpacking mat was basically torture.  The first night I basically didn't sleep.  Every time I moved and shifted searing pain went through my hips.  I think I slept the second night out of sheer exhaustion.  Let's just say our bed sure felt uh-mazing once we got home.  (I knew this would be an issue going into it.  I get achy hips while sleeping in our bed at home so camping...yeah.  I decided it was worth the pain.  And it was.  But it felt good to be home again...and 2 nights was my max).  :)

These photos are from around our campsite.  We stayed farther up the mountain passed Sedona, toward Flagstaff.  There was some old snow still on the side of the road.  We were probably at about 6000 feet elevation.  The temperature difference between Sedona the city and where our campsite was was dramatic.  At night and in the morning it was downright freeeeeezing.  Considering we haven't experienced weather under 70 in a couple of months it was a bit of a shock.  We bundled up though and survived it.  :)

I'm a bit of a nut when it comes to Jack being clean.  I mean there's a time and a place for filth but overall I keep his hands and face pretty clean.  If he spills on his shirt I will usually change it before we go out into public.  But there is something about a grimy, dirty little camping baby that just makes me smile.

Overall it was a great trip.  Lots of nature.  Lots of time together.  Beautiful views and hikes.  Good camping food.  We had a great time.  Jason has now been to the Grand Canyon and Sedona.  He said that the Grand Canyon is "big" and definitely worth seeing but that Sedona is just plain beautiful.  Maybe there is something to the saying that I've read, "God made the Grand Canyon, but He lives in Sedona."  ;)  Ha!

Wear

I think I remember right around this time when I was pregnant with Jack getting that strong urge to no longer wear maternity clothes...to venture into the rest of my closet once again...and to maybe buy a new piece or two.  ;)

Being pregnant has certainly been good for the budget as far as buying clothes goes.  I worked through my first pregnancy and so had a decent wardrobe of maternity clothes to wear.  I haven't bought a single piece this time around and am trying my best to finish this last 8 weeks out with what I already have.

And then am I right or do you have the baby...wait a couple of weeks and think...I must CERTAINLY be at least CLOSE to my pre-preg self (because in comparison you really are so much smaller) only to pull on a shirt or pants and realize uhhhhh...yeah no.  I remember being shocked and thinking "I will NEVER fit back into my old clothes."  But I did.  It came in stages.  The pants fit first...then the shirts later (because of nursing).  But eventually yes...I shrunk back down.  Also weird side note.  Anyone else notice that they kept on that last 5 or so pounds until after they stopped breastfeeding?!?  Weirdest thing.  It's like my body kept the weight in "reserve".  When I stopped nursing I totally went back down to pre-pregnancy weight.  Bodies are strange.  ;)

The great thing about both pregnancies is that my birthday falls about 3-4 months post baby.  The perfect amount of time to start buying/receiving some birthday treats in the clothes department. 

So here are some things I have been eyeing lately.  Please note that winter coats, scarfs, and boots are NOT on this list.  Thank you Arizona weather. 

I have been eyeing a pair of these Birks for quite some time now.  A bit pricey for sure but I'm digging them.  Definitely liking the taupe.  I also LOVE these gladiator Birkenstocks.  I saw them on a girl and seriously...cutest thing ever.  For the price though I feel like they need to be worn all the time.  And I'm not so sure the gladiator ones are as versatile...ie. with pants? 

THIS sweatshirt has been in my Etsy shopping cart for...well, since I got pregnant.  I absolutely adore it!!! 

There are a lot of things I can imagine buying...but most certainly never would.  I basically don't spend more then $20 on a clothing item unless it's with birthday money.  Ha!  I LOVE me some Free People though.  Well, not all of it.  Some of it is downright weird.  But THIS shirt.  Swoon.  So pretty.  And THIS tank (with a cami underneath).  But $92 for it?!?  Barf. 

Then there is Anthropologie.  Every birthday I usually buy myself an item from here.  I have about 3 or 4 Anthro pieces and adore them.  Like I take really good care of them because it feels like such a rare treat to own them  Ha!  :)    So I am a huge sucker for ruffles.  LoVe THIS shirt. 

Last but not least I am in some desperate need of GOOD sunglasses.  The sun here is killing me.  I had these guys (and lost them) and think I might like to get them again.  I have also been wanting a basic leather tote purse for a good 3 years but alas...that's a lot of money to spend.  None the less I do rather like this one. 

Alright.  That's all I got for you.  :)  I probably will never buy a single one of these items but it's fun to dream right?!? 

Happy Monday everyone!