Friday, September 14, 2012

Change.


                                                                                                                                                                                                                    

I feel like I'm coming to a fork.
And I'm not entirely sure what to do.
I could go this way.
Or that way.
Neither answer seems right per se.
Neither answer seems wrong.
One answer though seems easy...comfortable.
The other not so much.

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I've never thought of myself as one who runs from change.
I'm Anna.
I say "yes" to adventure.
Or that's what the blog says at least.
I got married and a month later moved to Chile.
I didn't speak any Spanish.
I taught in the poorest school in my city and I wasn't afraid.
I'd get up and leave this second if Jason was offered a job abroad.
But that's him.  I'd follow him to the ends of the world.
I can follow with joy, I can do that.
What about me though?  What about when an opportunity opens for ME?
I'm not so sure about that.

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 I think I'm afraid to make the wrong choice.
Afraid that I'm mixing my wants with what's right.
Afraid that I'm doing something selfishly.
Afraid that in the end I'll end up failing and feeling like...
Well, like a fool.
I'm also aware of the joy that comes from the jump.
The rush that comes from knowing you are trying something new.
And it draws and pulls me toward it.



So, how do we know?
I guess we try.
And know that God is merciful.
That He calls us to honor Him and love others no matter what we do.
And if we're doing just that through out our endeavor of trying something new...
Well, then I guess it's ok.
He'll be there if we fail.
He'll be there if we succeed.
And in the end, I guess I'll have tried.
Because behind every great thing...
There was someone who decided to try.


2 comments:

  1. I like your new blog layout. And I like Jason for untying your shirt. Reminds me of someone I know...

    And I love your heart. I can struggle with this too. Change is hard - especially when we have to be the ones to make the decision! Good luck with whatever it is, Anna.

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  2. I know right?! Bah. Oh well. I think we're just coming to that time in life where decisions have to be made.

    And yes, Jason, that lovely soul, likes to harass me. I'm glad you too have someone that does the same. Keeps things fun :)

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