Monday, April 8, 2013

Just Trust

Pregnancy has been a "just trust" thing for me.

After our first miscarriage, getting pregnant again was scary.  There were "what if it happens again" fears.  But the Lord was telling me to "just trust".

As the pregnancy progressed more fears came up.  Before I could feel this little one moving, with each pre-natal appointment there was the fear "what if there's no heartbeat".  As the day draws closer and closer when he enters this world there are fears of a safe delivery, a healthy baby, and etc.  But God has been whispering, "just trust".

Then there was the financial side of it all.  There was a one month period where doctor bills were coming in but Jason wasn't teaching because of winter break.  I had moments of "how is this all going to work out?" and God said, "just trust."  My work gave me an end of the year bonus that exceeded Jason's missed income for the month.

Now as the end is getting closer and closer and my maternity leave begins in 7 weeks there is the "what about after maternity leave" question.  Do I go back to work?  Can we afford to lose my income?  So many questions.  Yet we were trying to "just trust".

Though it would be lovely to completely stay home it became apparent that in the end I needed to bring home some sort of income.  Not necessarily the amount I'm doing now but enough to cover two major expenses...our health insurance and Jason's student loan.  Yet, there was this problem.  We really feel strongly about the role of the mother in the home...and the father for that matter :)  How do we do both?

In the end we decided that I could work Fridays and Saturdays...and that was it.  Jason would be home to watch the little man on those 2 days because he teaches Mon-Thur (it would be daddy/baby bonding day :)).  I would be cutting my hours down from 40 hours/week to 14 hours/week.  What if my job said no?  There were many "what ifs" and yet in the end I felt at peace.  We have no family in the area to babysit for free.  Daycare wasn't an option.  The price of it to my income ratio didn't make sense just wasn't something we wanted to do.  I knew that if my job said no then that would be that...and in the end...the Lord would provide a way for it all to work out.  He was saying, "just trust".

And you know, my work agreed.  They are fine with me only working Fridays and Saturdays.  "Just trust."  Okay, okay God, I get the point.  You provide.  Sheesh.  :)

So, it's settled.  2 months of leave.  Returning at 14 hours/week.  Baby E will either be with me (mostly), his daddy, or the both of us.  We feel blessed.  :)


  1. I didn't know you had a miscarriage. How hard! So happy God has blessed you both with a healthy baby and pregnancy. Trust is a hard thing. I know.
    Love your posts Anna!

  2. Yes, a miscarriage I did have. We weren't trying to get was a sorta "oopsie". At about 7 or so weeks I had one. Early on but hard none the less. Especially since it was just when we were starting to be "okay" with being pregnant. So yeah. To be honest though...this pregnancy wasn't planned either haha. But we welcomed it with open arms. I know miscarriages are very common but I didn't know if I was one of those women who have miscarriage after miscarriage. Yeah. Anyways. :)

  3. Anna - thats awesome about work! Personally my husband is still in school (2 more years) so I have to go back to work...luckily I work from home so we will have to figure SOMETHING out - trusting God to guide the way!

    On a completely vain note. Have you heard of the Hip Slimmer or the Belly Bandit? I've heard of both. I think I'll skip the belly bandit in lieu of a cheaper corset thingy (as some reviewers have mentioned) but I am totally sold on the Hip Slimmer (and not its velcro friend Hip Shrinx.) Just wondering what other gals think about this.


  4. Christy! I feel ya on the school thing. Seriously, Jason just graduated last we baaaaarely made it through grad school without getting pregnant. I have no idea what we would've done if he was still in school. I most def. don't work from home so yeah...that would've been interesting. God's timing is good. :)

    As far as the belly/hip slimmer initial reaction was total skepticism. Kinda sounded like something you'd see on a bad "as seen on tv" product..."but wait, order now and you will receive not one but TWO belly slimmers". Ya know? That being said...I've actually read that people have used them and that they like them. The belly one even if it means that it only flattens your belly a little and makes your clothes fit better until your belly shrinks back down...regardless of whether it's actually the cause of the belly flattening (did that make any sense?). I've also heard people swear by the hip thingy too. It sounds like people wear it more around the house right? I don't know. What I DO KNOW is that #1 I want my belly to go back down. I will probably do it the old fashioned way though...exercise...mostly because I'm cheap. I know...boring. :) As for the hip thing. Okay, this is totally stupid but before I got pregnant I was a size 00. It was terrible finding pants that fit (pretty much only fit into American Eagle or uber expensive designer jeans that I couldn't afford). Everything was too baggy in the hips. So honestly...if my hips get a little bigger...I'm okay with it. :) Bring on the size 1! hahaha. I would be super interested to know if it does work though. It's like you need someone who didn't use them for their 1st pregnancy and did for their 2nd...and compared it. Otherwise how do you know if it's the gadgets doing their job or your body just going back to normal on it's own. Phew. That was a lot!!! :)

  5. Such great lessons you are learning through this pregnancy! Trusting is never easy, but it's so good you recorded this. Maybe next time it will be a tad easier?? Thanks for sharing such good stuff...

  6. Yes! I agree, I wish I measured my hips before I got pregnant to compare. But, I was NOT a size 00 before pregnancy, and judging by the genes in my family - we girls can gain some big hips. I really just don't want to buy new clothes after! Also, my husbands family is SO TINY. I wear a 6/S and I'm the biggest one. So any growth anywhere and I feel like a COW!!! A lot of the reviewers of the hip things said they didn't use on their first pregnancy but after using it on the 2nd or 3rd were back in jeans they hadn't worn for years (surprised they kept them that long!) I dunno...I think I'll try it though. I can always resell it on CL...