Musings

• We are in the home stretch people.  I have tomorrow, and then Mon, Tues, and Wed. of next week and we are back to my mostly stay-at-home mama gig.  It has been a LONG haul.  I wish I could relay to you the stress and just plain yuckiness that financially Dec-Jan has brought for us.  Let's just say that we made it...barely.  I mean we aren't totally in the clear but there is a light at the end of the tunnel.  Phew.  We've never really struggled financially like this in our marriage which is a huge blessing in itself.  God though has been SO very faithful.  I mean, there have basically been small miracles to keep us afloat.  To not witness these things would have been a loss.  So I'm thankful.  So very thankful.  (For those who don't know Jason is a contracted teacher and so went 6 weeks without pay during the break...and he doesn't get paid for another 4 weeks.  10 weeks of no income from our main provider.  We did not prepare nearly enough for this...so that part is my fault)
• I have been reading a bit of the Bible every day and it's been so very good.  I am doing it chronologically this time.  I'm using an ESV app on my phone and a checklist.  Turns out I pick up my phone a lot through out the day...and I love checklists.  Good combo!  :)  I'm in Job right now.  So relevant considering my first bullet!  ;)
• My boy is standing!  Gah!  I can't believe it.  He can now use things to pull himself up.  Last night he was yelling for his night time snack and when I walked in...there he was!  That's even with his wearable blanket thing on.  I was totally impressed!  :)
• If you think of us would you mind praying for our future???  We are submitting lots of resumes.  Jason is looking for a full time ESL position that hopefully has benefits...and is a more permanent position.  The one he has now is good but you know...has 10 week breaks with no income haha.  Anyways, you should see the application process for some of these positions.  You'd think you were applying to be secret service for the president.  Sheesh.  Anyways, we are throwing our net wide...Portland, Anaheim, Japan, and etc.  Pray that the Lord would show us exactly where to go...and that Jason would get a position...somewhere.  :)
• So, I've heard about the whole shopping for groceries a month at a time.  I didn't want to do it because of the whole fresh fruit and veggie thing.  After having a baby though I'm singing a different song.  Going to the grocery store is not what it used to be.  I decided to give it a try.  I thought it would be a bit much to jump into a month so I did 2 weeks at a time.  Let me tell you.  I LOVE it.  I get my produce down the street once a week but everything else I bought 2 weeks worth of.  My grocery bill is WAY down because of it.  I literally spent that one lump some and then a couple of veggie/fruit trips.  That was it!  Amazing I tell you.  You also get the added benefit of meal planning efficiently.  Like buying a thing of celery and planning a couple of meals so that you use the WHOLE thing.  Imagine that.  ;)  Brilliant I tell you.  I don't think I will do the 1 month thing though in the end because our pantry it way too small.  So, there you go!

And that's all for now!  Hope your week is marvy harvey! <3

Sometimes God Shuts the Door...IN YOUR FACE

Welp.

I didn't get in.

What ever do you mean are you asking???

Ok.  So I received my B.A. in Philosophy.  I always had the intention to get my M.A. in it and teach.  Right after undergrad though I was so burnt out that there was no way in heck I was going back to school.  Time passed, I got married, Jason got his M.A., he's now working, we had a baby.  All along though we were aware of the fact that right down the street from us...where Jason works at SFSU, they offered a really good M.A. in Philosophy...for pretty affordable.  It came to the point that we thought, well...maybe I should apply?  Jason was done with school, I'm working less, and I could just chip away at it. It would require Jason to find work in S.F. but otherwise it could work out.  Why not?  Let's go for it we said.

I started out very detached from it.  It was a sort of whatever happens, happens thing.  Then the more I thought about it the more I got a little excited.  I felt like it could really work out.  I would take a while getting through the program, maybe have a couple of babies in the middle and then by the time they are older and in school I could teach a little part time.  Great plan right?

Well, it wasn't God's plan.

Basically I applied a couple of months ago.  I kept waiting for my transcripts to clear.  They never did, so I sent a second batch.  This whole time the admissions professor in my program is contacting me telling me that he can't admit me until I'm cleared with admissions from the school (you are admitted by both SFSU and your program).  School is starting MONDAY...as in THIS Monday and I still wasn't cleared. I called admissions for the 4th time and they finally cleared the transcripts because "they were confused since the last name wasn't the same as my new married name."  Really???  So, once it cleared they said that it would give me a status in a day or two.

I checked the admissions status the next day. 

I was regretfully informed that I did not get in.

It felt like a kick in the stomach.  I mean I had been in touch with the program..it certainly felt like I was in.  I didn't care when I first applied a couple of months ago but I cared now.  I was a little excited to be once again in the academia world. 

I don't know about the why's on not being admitted.  The graduate program works on a rolling basis and so the earlier you apply/are cleared the better.  I'd say 4 days before school starts is cutting it a little close...though it certainly wasn't my fault.  Who knows, maybe my grades weren't high enough.  It doesn't really matter.

The funny thing though is that once the initial shock of being basically rejected wore off..I felt a little...relieved?  I knew that it would be hard.  Homework, time in class, time with my family.  it seemed like it would be really hard to do it all.  I knew though that if this was something God wanted for us...that he would give us the strength needed.  I also prayed that if He didn't want me to do grad school...that I wouldn't get in.  Then there were no ifs, ands or buts about it.  I guess He answered loud and clear.

I also feel at peace because I feel like my roll at home has been even more confirmed.  I knew I wanted to be a stay at home mom...and yet I feel like I try to find any out I can haha.  Is that not weird?  Maybe a part time job just to give us some extra money?  Grad school?  I feel very confirmed in our decision to keep me home...even if it means we are poor and won't ever buy a house.  God will provide.  He will provide enough so that I can stay home.  I tried to do grad school.  I prayed God would make it clear.  He did.  I'm glad he did.  Overall...I'm really okay with not getting in.  Really. 

That's why I felt the need to tell you.
Even though I'm still a little embarassed I was REJECTED.
Oh well.  A little rejection is good for everyone.  :)  Keeps you humble.

Jack: 7 Months

It's getting harder to get a non-blurry pic of this kid. :)

Our little Jacko-man is 7 MONTHS old (well, on the 13th he was)!!!

Holy gaucomole.

He just feels so OLD to me...and then I will look back on these pictures in a few months and think, "Awe, he was so little."  Can't they just stay little forever?  I mean, I don't really want that...but there's a small part of me that is just kinda sad that I can't bottle up these days and remember them just how they are forever.  Soon these "little days" will become a fuzzy memory of the past.  I guess that's why it's good to take lots of pictures eh?  :)

So, what's new with our little man these days?

I stick my nipple shield on his head and call him my "baby unicorn"... ahem. :)

- I'm going to go ahead and call him mobile.  Not efficiently mobile but he gets where he wants to go...maybe just a little slower then he'd like.  ;)  I know that in a week or so this will no longer be the case.  Last night actually he was whining for me to pick him up and next thing I know he's under my feet yelling up at me.

TEETH!

- We have started solids and oh my he is so his father's child.  The boy has LOVED to eat from the beginning.  He loves his solids too.  Any type...broccoli, carrots, spinach.  Put it on a spoon and he will gladly eat it.  We pretty much skipped the cereal.  He ate it twice and it made him totally constipated.  As in he cried when he tried to poo.  Poor baby.  Anyways, I'm shocked that he's still as skinny as he is with as much milk/food he eats.  I guess he's got our metabolisms. 
- His hand eye coordination has all come together.  He can sift through a bucket of toys and grab the one that he wants.  It's funny how it just sorta...happens.  I feel like it was just yesterday when he was clumsily trying to grasp at things.

- Sleep is going quite well.  He now goes down without a fight.  No crying...or if he does on the rare occasion I tell him he's okay, that it's time to sleep, and that we're right outside.  I swear he can understand me.  Because it does work!  He calms down and goes to sleep!  He wakes up once in the middle of the night to eat.  I'm just not quite ready to drop it.  Is that weird?  I kinda like the quiet 15 minutes of nursing in the middle of the night when all is silent...especially since I'm working so much right now. And then he wakes at the normal 6:00am or so.  If we bring him in our bed we can usually squeeze in another 1-2 hours of sleep so yeah.  Not bad.  We are currently not in the middle of a growth spurt or teething and it is NICE.  We'll see how long THAT lasts though.  ;)

Suspenders!!!

- Face touching.  I have no idea if this is common with all babies but he is obsessed with stroking and touching my face.  Especially when he nurses or is tired.  He just rubs his hand back and forth across my cheek and chin.  So sweet and kinda funny when we are out in public and there is this little arm shooting up from behind the nursing cover.  :)  When he's tired he puts his forehead on my chin and just  rests his hand on my cheek.  I'm telling you.  The kid is crazy snuggly/affectionate already.
- Scratching.  He's been doing this for a couple of months but incessant scratching.  Where he opens and closes his hand and scratches whatever surface he is touching...including your skin.  I think he's just experimenting with all the textures.  Not sure. 

- Honestly I feel like I don't have as much to share this month.  I have basically been working full time this whole month...with 1.5 more weeks to go.  Oh my it's been hard.  About the time I get home we are getting ready for bed.  Golly I miss my baby.  It's been SO good though for him to be around his Daddy so much.  I can tell that there is definitely a stronger bond between the two and well, you know...it's nice to hear about what hard work it is to stay home with the babe from your husband.  I think we should all take a walk in someone else's shoes once in a while you know?  ;)

Anyways, I love how each day is a new day and how he continues to grow and change...even if I secretly want him to stay my little baby forever.

Happy 7 months little man!

Teeny tiny new baby Jack.  Had to throw this one in.  My how he's grown! :)

<3

This & That

Hello friends!

I have a 7 month Jack post in the works.  I just need to upload his photos.  :)  I can't believe that I have a 7 month old. Sheesh.  (BTW I FOUND MY STINKING camera cord.  If you 've been reading my blog for a while you'll know that it disappeared about 4 months ago!  I found it, in our room, in my fabric bag.  Yeah.  I literally grabbed it, ran into the living room, and did a "I found the camera cord dance" for Jason.  Good times!)

So, what's been up lately?

I feel like a lot of things to be honest.  Jason and I have been praying and talking about our future a lot lately.  What that may or may not look like.  Whether we are staying in the Bay Area longer and etc.  There are potentially some exciting things in our future (mine in particular) but we are in this sorta holding stage/flux.  Not my favorite place to be...but yeah.  Anyways, good things...but hard, stretching things.  I feel like for the last few years I have been doing very "safe" things.  I mean, that's where we were at at the moment.  My job was to go to work every day, earn a steady income at a reliable job so that Jason could go to grad school.  That's now over though. So, maybe it's my turn to venture out into the world of opportunity a little...within reason.  My family is and will always be my #1 priority.  Anyways, sorry for being so cryptic.  More details will come hopefully soon.  ;)

Did I ever mention that I have a nephew???  I mean, I have a nephew through Jason's sister but I have a NEW nephew from my brother.  I think I wasn't as ready to proclaim it from the roof tops because my brother isn't married, or even dating the mom any more.  My brother isn't a Jesus follower (yet!).  It's not the "ideal" situation I guess and yet it's still a sweet SWEET baby who I already ADORE...though I haven't met him.  I just want to squeeze him and spoil him rotten.  hehe.  And he looks EXACTLY like my brother haha.


My thug-life bro and baby Carson!  :)

Anyways, GUESS WHAT?!?  I am like sooooo close to finishing Jack's room.  Ahem...you know, 7 months after he was born.  hehe.  Whatever dude, whatever.  He doesn't know that he slept in the "storage room" for the first part of his life.  Anyways, he's pretty mobile now and I'm trying to make his room baby proof and safe for a little mobile baby...who is pretty darn near to standing (if he has something to pull himself up with)!  Good grief.  :)  So yeah, I'll do some pics eventually.  Since I FOUND MY CAMERA CORD!  Still a little excited about that. 

Anyways, happy Monday!

A Little Neurotic

SOURCE

I was reading a funny blog a while back of this writer's neurotic idiosyncrasies.  Cracked me up.  It got me thinking.  What am I all coo coo neurotic about? I mean aren't we all a little neurotic?  If you think you aren't...just ask your spouse, parents, bff.  :)  They'll tell you the truth.

So, let's delve into this...

1)  I can't sleep with anything near my face or covering my face.  If it covers my face then I feel like I'm breathing unclean, recycled, already been breathed air.  Yuck.  I don't like things by my face in general because...well, I just don't. (It may have something to do with the fact that my brother smothered me with a pillow one too many times...but we won't talk about that.)  :)
2)  I'm crazy about the appearance of dirt.  Like I want it to at least LOOK clean.  But germs?  Don't bother me one bit.  Like I really don't care/think about it.  The only reason I don't let Jack lick the seat on the Muni train is because I'm pretty sure I'd be heavily judged.  I know.  I fake caring about germs.  I just feel like it's inevitable though.  Germs will come, he will get sick...why put it off.  It just makes his immune system all the more hardy.  I also fake caring because I guess I don't REALLY in the end want him to suffer so I'm all "stop licking the floor" because you might puke your guts out and in the end I don't really want to see you all sick and sad.  By the way I am married to a supreme germ-a-phobe.  :)  It's probably for the best haha.
3)  I think WAY too much about matching.  If I venture too much into patterns and colors I think about whether I match or just look like a wreck probably 12 times before I walk out the door.  This is why I probably wear jeans and a white shirt 6 out of 7 days of the week.  Freak I tell you.
4)  I am a planning OCD wreck...but with a twist.  It has it's pros believe me.  I will know everything there is to know about the place that we are visiting before we leave.  On the other hand I will talk about it to the point of driving my fellow travel partner MAD...ie. Jason.  :)  And the twist?  I get a huge, mega rush when things go wrong...getting lost, missing a flight and being stuck in the airport.  I plan and yet thrive on those plans going all awry???  Weird I tell you.
5)  I have a blanket and pillows on my couch.  Before I leave...literally, almost every time I leave the house...unless I'm totally late, I will straighten the blanket and arrange the pillows.  I have no idea why.  My house can be in complete disarray but dang it when I walk in that door my couch will look GOOD! 
6)  Clean hair.  Totally neurotic about it.  Mexico mission trips...where you have 6 days with no showers?  Shoot me.  I just feel so gross with dirty hair.  So yeah, I promptly bought a solar shower and had me a nice warm camp shower after each work day.  And I'm super in to camping/backpacking too.  :)  I'm just a very CLEAN camper/backpacker.
7)  Clean shoes (I think I have a serious problem with clean things).  I like my shoes to look clean.  Like...some of my shoes I actually wash...with a toothbrush!  Ack.  That's embarassing.  Don't judge.
8) Lint.  I freak out about lint.  This is one of the main reasons I don't wear black very often.  I actually have a mini lint roller that I carry in my bag when I wear black pants.  Seriously.  Yeah, I know.  Don't say it.

And yeah.  I'm sure there's more.  Probably a LOT more haha.  So what about you?  What's your weirdest quirk?  Spill it! :)

Lately...

• Happy New Year friends.  2014.  I still can't get used to that pesky "4".  Pretty sure I've wrote 2013 I mean 2014 about 23 times.  :)
• Do you do New Years resolutions?  We sorta do as a family.  I mean we have individual ones but we don't take them too seriously.  Really we just use it as a time to reflect on things that we would like to do better.  Some things as a family involve more ACTS of charity...not just giving our money.  Also keeping with our strict budget.  For me, I made a resolution of sorts after my birthday in August to not buy anything for myself for a year.  I felt like I was starting to get caught up in the whole fashion "how do I compare to others" thing.  I have PLENTY of clothes and I need nothing at all.  5 months in and I'm really happy I did it.  It's been really freeing.  It's really refocused me and what's important.  For example, my black Toms that I wear regularly are wearing out...I have a small hole in the big toe.  But I'm still wearing them.  And when they die completely I can wear my other Toms, or my converse...you see?!?  I have plenty.  Anyways, I hope to continue on with my one year shopping abstinence goal.
• These last couple of months are really hard months for us financially.  SFSU has a 6 week break...and then after that 6 weeks is up Jason doesn't get paid for another 4 weeks (this is because he is a contracted teacher...not a "regular" professor).  10 weeks of no income from our main bread winner.  When I was working full time it wasn't a big deal because we could save for it.  Since we've decided to have me home we weren't able to save as much this year.  It's been stretching for sure.  Anyways, all this to say...we have been selling things that we just don't use any more on Ebay and oh my gosh!!!  So cool!  I can't believe that people actually want our stuff haha.  We've literally made almost $500 in the last month.  Awesome no?  I'm on a roll!  Watch out! ;)
  
  
• Jack's room is finally starting to come together.  Well, more in my head then in real life, haha.  I think the fact that we are getting rid of so many things has motivated me to finally conquer his room.  It's been a storage, office area...with a crib thrown in it for far too long.  :)
• I live by my day planner.  Like, I think I'd forget to pay half my bills if I didn't have one.  I get really excited to get a new one for the new year and feel all out of sorts until I DO have a new one.
• We've been using this break that Jason has to do a bit more sleep training for the little one.  First, we ditched the monitor at night.  He's in the room next door...we can hear him.  We don't need to hear him scream loud and clear haha.  Jason sleeps through it completely.  I don't.  But I'm a lot more slow to wake up and it gives him some time to cry...and then sometimes fall back asleep.  He goes down without crying at night 80% of the time (yay), nap time...70% of the time.  But...he still wakes up once at night to eat.  And I'm okay with it.  He really and truly EATS.  Getting him to eat during the day and not fidget and get distracted is becoming a challenge.  He's enjoying his new found purposeful mobility.  I refuse to wrestle him though.  I just take him off and I figure he'll eat when he gets hungry enough.  Of course that may be at night haha.
  
• So because Jason is not working...I'm working more.  I miss my baby.  :(  There are parts I like about working...not going to lie.  It helps too knowing that he's home with Daddy.  But I miss my boy and our routine.  I LOVE coming home to his face lighting up and his squeels though.  Priceless I tell ya.  
• Welp, that's it!  Have a happy weekend amigos...hope you enjoyed a couple more Jacko's 1st Christmas pics!!!
  
  
  

2013 Recap

 

2013 is gone
2014 is here

What a year, what a year.

So, what did we do in 2013???  Welp, let me tell you.  :)

2013 kicked off with me looking something like the above pic...17 weeks pregnant.


At the end of January we found out we were having a BOY!!!!
































In April we trekked it down to SLO to celebrate our little boy with friends and family!  Such a sweet
fun baby shower!



I wrote my LAST POST as a pregnant woman and then...

On June 11th my water started leaking...unbenonest to me haha
On June 12th I started thinking maybe something wasn't quite right and went in "just in case".  Yup!  A slow leak.  Came back to the hospital at 4:00pm to be induced.



And after 20 hours of labor Jack Thoren was born on June 13, 2013



Then began life as three!!!
It took a little adjustment, ahem.  :)

After a few weeks we got into a pretty good groove with our little man.  I began my life as a mostly stay at home mom...and in the end loved it.

We've been through some ups, some downs, some down right borings. 

In the end though it's been a good, GOOD year.  We are so blessed.  So very, very blessed.  I'm quick to want more sometimes...heck, all the time.  But really...we have enough.  More then enough.

Thank you Lord for this year.  Thank you for every year, every day, every hour of life.  Thank you for your saving grace, for my amazing husband, for my family and friends, the roof over our heads and warm beds to sleep in.  Thank you for our little Jack.  Thank you Lord for giving us far FAR more then we could ever deserve.

Happy New Year friends!!!